THE MASTER PHOTOGRAPHER
This is an edited version of an article by Bernardino “Riri” d’Assumpção, in an unpublished set of anecdotes.
José Couto [the name is fictitious], or Jo-Jo as he was nicknamed, did not have a high IQ nor did he finish school. He never attained a high or responsible position in the firm where he worked but he was friendly, respectful and, above all, conscientious in his work, and managed to stay in that firm for many years until he retired.
He had two strange traits. Firstly, he had his own idea of English grammar. If he met you alone one fine morning, he would greet you with a hearty “Good morning, my good friend!”. However, if he met you with one or more companions, he would say, “Good morningS friends!”, stressing the “S” in “mornings”.
Secondly, he followed the latest innovations, always trying to be “in the latest fashion”, as he put it. Thus, if he saw an American wearing a red-dotted tie over a blue shirt he would, somehow, consider this monstrous combination the latest fashion and copy it.
Knowing Jo-Jo’s craze for innovations, his office mates were not at all surprised to see him coming in one morning, carrying two bulky cases. “Good mornings, gentlemen!” greeted Jo-Jo.
“Jo-Jo”, asked Jack, “what have you dug up this time? What do you have in those cases?”
“Ha, ha”, smiled Jo-Jo, “you will never guess what I bought yesterday. I must confess that I spent most of my savings on these two boxes, but they are worth it. Wait until lunchtime and I will show you!”
Pressed by his curious co-workers to divulge the contents of the cases, Jo-Jo conscientiously refused, insisting they should not waste the firm’s time. Not until lunch time did he open the first case proudly to reveal a camera. “The other case contains the glass photographic plates” said Jo-Jo, “so be careful and do not open it until we get to Statue Square.”
Now, the cameras of that time were very primitive: you had to cover yourself and the camera with a rather thick black cloth, leaving only the lens exposed. After focusing properly on your subect, you covered the lens with a lid and, with the camera still covered, you would insert a glass photographic plate into the camera. The photo would then be taken simply by removing the lid from the lens for a few seconds, and then replacing it.
As soon as all had had their lunch, they went with Jo-Jo to Statue Square, and someone suggested to Jo-Jo that he should first try to take a photo of the statue of Sir Thomas Jackson, the First Chief Manager of the Hongkong and Shanghai Banking Corporation, which was situated directly across the road in front of the old Hongkong Bank building.
Jo-Jo quickly set up the tripod and camera, and then put himself and the camera under a large sheet of black cloth, and set about focusing on the statue. Unfortunately the lens was not aimed exactly on the statue, but instead of turning his camera towards the statue, he waved his hand at the STATUE, saying, “MOVE A LITTLE MORE TO THE LEFT! Yes, a little more to the left!”
In his eagerness to show off his camera, poor Jo-Jo had completely forgotten that he was photographing a statue and not a person. Everyone laughed like mad, but poor Jo-Jo, from under the cover of his black cloth, never realized why they were doing so.